'MAN'

Disclaimer: I express my own sincere observations: not a proven statistical study or an in depth analytical form of data. A mere over generalization of what sometimes is/could be. The objective remains to ignite thought not blame or make a baseless argument against any racial background.

 

Society is riddled with stereo-types, be it the ideals of a female, the social standard of a people , or the issue at hand - the "alpha male". This concept of who and what a man should be has been muddled in a mix of confusion such that the male prototype we see among us is only further and further from what "a man" used to to be.

 

There's this unspoken social pressure, probably predominately among the African-American/Latino males to be 'A MAN'. Much of all propaganda from the streets and their basic social arena produces a expressive man who's 'talk game is tight', normally has taken up some sort of physical training ; weight training, martial arts, etc and if not that he'll have some form of physical aggression to show for it. This man is socially classified as 'a man' based on his financial reach, his physical capacity and his ability to get with women.  Any short-comings that can be picked on in these departments are normally compensated or maybe just masked by the 'EGO'; a full fledged "man, you ain't seen nothin' " type talk. If not the use of the 'ego', an extensive educational background which too can and will be mocked by those who are labelled 'the haters'. The pressure seems so overwhelming that in this quest to fulfill, we find the standard of everything that was classified as a man back in times of our grandfather, a time when people fought for survival and not for ego, appears to be almost non-existent. I believe this "ideal" stems from the urgency of circumstances that women were dealt with. From the time of slavery the homes of African-American people were torn - with injustice came the constant need to fight for basic freedom. It produced a man determined to "get his", to go out in the big bad world with all the might, power and talk he can muster. And he did just that! The women folk found herself holding it down while he was busy trying to make a way for his family. In the midst of it all, he lost his way as the glamor of society can and will eat you up, that and his need to be with the family no longer seemed to be required. She, well .....she did her best - she kept fighting, keeps fighting, and now limits the respect towards a man to the extent he yearns to be respected. It's the back and forth, she cannot let her guard down for fear of proven irresponsibility on his part by what was once a noble endeavor, which has now been  a means of the female to justify her actions. And he? He doesn't want to be home because he's had enough disrespect from his forefathers 'masters', walking his ground with the notion  'a man at least can feel a man in some realm of his world'. The result? Children are now their own role models. They motivate each other within their own capacity of limited understanding and the use of a highly saturated industry invested in calling the youth to 'be a star', capture the world, live it up, and let it all go: the entertainment industry. In the midst of children's parental guidance fighting for the power to control children freely take their youth in their own hands. It's just a matter of who and what form of influence will greet them first..

 

On the other spectrum within North America we see the Caucasian mix of individuals who are plagued with their own form of finding a connect - where their social standard encourages a greater sense of emotional compatibility rather than physical or financial security. A 'good man' is defined as "good" by his ability to connect with his emotional side. So much so that  the closer his emotions coincide with that of his female counterpart the more attractive he becomes. As the man described digs into his estrogen side of life it leads to a problematic extremity; he loses the the very essence of his manliness. His days are not filled with the the need to protect his family but rather an array of tonics for hair and acne treatment, or talk of diapers and laundry. He finds himself getting comfortable in a role that was at one point not designed for a man and now he stays home with the children and the wife goes to work. The result.....somewhat of chaos. Not because he doesn't handle his home, perhaps he pulls it off better than his partner but the role reversal seems to be leading to overly sensitive men and overly aggressive women. The result? Children are unsure of where they stand. A man no matter how hard he tries cannot be a female or relate the same way. The core values and discipline a mother would give her child does not rear through the father, whom often over looks the finer details through the perception of the male mind. Thus, the art of nurturing character in children is no longer in play. As the male mind looks at life from the broader sense, a father does not waste time dwelling on the 'small things' as it part of their nature which I believe was designed to serve and protect their family. At the same time the female overwhelms herself in the big wide world where she finds herself in the position of constantly having to prove herself. Being that her mind functions as a female  (ie. sensitive to her surroundings focusing on the finer details that block routes to the corporate ladder) she too becomes stressed and unnecessarily burdened in attempts to cope. For the most part, this does not provide the structural compatibility of a functional, calm home environment - a destructive concoction for the familial social structure.

 

In some way, shape or form if we observe the men around us in North America there is an unprecedented change...it simply cannot go unnoticed. Either he's too much of a man or too much of a woman, therefore both harboring extreme concepts of the role and the responsibilities of  'a man'. No longer reflecting the tradition sense of masculinity. The word "gentleman" is more of a British term than anything else. Chivalry is non-existent unless one considers making minimum payments a form of manners. The idea of protecting and defending ones family from the on-slaught of the never ending slanderers we all have to face from time to time, or the odd situation of an act of belligerence from random strangers etc is also no longer in tact. It's either the female will roll up her sleeves and get her dukes up or a man will pull out 'his piece' ; metal protection that keeps his insecurities concealed.

 

Forms of insecurities within ourselves come out in the oddest ways. I feel the core of the issue lies within our own selves - it is the inability to recognize ourselves. Why?.... Simply because every cultural setting is living up to some standards of 'the Jones'. There's the constant battering of having to feel inadequate if one does not fulfill the unspoken expectations that our social circles call us towards. Little by little, piece by piece what we knew as the 'norm' cannot and will not be visible at all. A new norm will form, often one that isn't a conscious decision made by individual themselves, but a cry to fit in and be 'the best' ........though the results may not be the best. I see a potential means to abase such a phenomenon in attempting to strip down all the 'talk', and take our own lives back to basics, back to the point of purpose and find personal clarity. I firmly believe it is through contemplation of self and the world we live in that we can truly see the 'light at the end of the tunnel'. The pressure of having to live up to something else slowly dies down, and the purpose of self merges into the best man that can be, A MAN.. the one that knows why he does what he does, and does it knowing that he is THE MAN, regardless of who's looking!