So at 30 years old I've learned a thing or two (not profound but lessons for ME- but maybe of benefit to someone else?), technically it's downhill now to my death, or maybe I should say.... my life? :) Insha'Allah, May it be a successful end of the beginning.. Ameen!!!!
1) Sometimes things in life don't go as we would ever imagine.....sometimes we lose something, and I've realized no matter what you won't get it back. It will never be the same, it is what they call a "by-gone". So for me, my family will never be "one" , or ideal as I grew up, or as I expected. Nothing I do, or can do will ever make it that same way. Yet, through the lose of something, comes the opportunity for something even greater. How? What? Where? When?.........Only Allah Knows, but Allah is with the patient. Insha'Allah
2) Though you may be wronged in life, I've come to realize that it's no excuse to wrong. Regardless of the magnitude of wrong against you, it doesn't even justify the slightest wrong we may do back. You know the saying, two wrongs don't make a right? Well that sums it up! This here is my check point - In the past I've justified my belligerence by the wrong done to me. In reality though, it just made me foolish. I've come to realize, the lower someone brings me down, the higher I am destined to rise... Insha'Allah.
3) Words are powerful, even though many times they are not a form of standard or expectation that we should rely upon. Often people talk for the mere purpose of talk. I've come to understand the frugality of ones words, yet at the same time it is words that have given me the strength to move on in life. It's words from the Qur'an (and the sayings of the Prophet [peace be upon him]. Truly, on a daily the Quran can be applied to our individual circumstances. I've learned to listen but not expect from the speech of others. But from the Qur'an I've learned to expect, as well as listen, and apply. The words are powerful beyond measure......it's something I can't explain. But really, Allah IS Near.
4) We are our biggest enemy. All that comes forth in life is really only as bad as we make it. Our greatest fears dictate our reality, yet those fears often aren't even a reality. By that I mean, our mind is our greatest asset and obstacle at the same time. It may take years, and years to train or re-program, but for the most part that's really the only difference between success and failure. Although, I do advise one must assess the true nature of success - what is it really? As a believer, we beg for success from our Lord ; Jannah - Gardens of Paradise. It's the mind that needs to humble itself to do such. I think this is probably why it's imperative to stay around good company, because they influence thought - therefore actions are eventually dictated by our companions ; hence we reap what we sow.
5) Does it really matter? Don't you think this world has gotten a bit too complicated for it's own good? Sometimes, I wonder why we worry so much about nothing really... lol. If we really think about it, does half the stuff that bother us really matter?! ... Not really, at the end of the day whether our rug matches our curtains will not determine our eternal life. Life used to be simpler when we just worried about making it, not about how hard we can fake it, or display it.
6) There's a definition that floats about from people to people and that is the definition of 'love'. Over time, I've come to understand what it really means to me, and yes loving gestures, kindness and consideration all are on top of the list. However, the epitome of love (to me at least), is truly wanting Jannah for those that you love. There's no better way of saying , proving or showing ones affection than wanting an eternity of goodness for them. This is so hard for most, because I've realized many don't really want Jannah for themselves. I have to wonder to myself, how badly I want it....'cause surely I can do better. Just sayin' though......
7) Kindness is liberating ... believe it or not, kindness especially towards those that are mean is liberating. It frees the mind and soul from an ugly burdensome chore of being harsh. I get it, being mean can also be a defense mechanism against being hurt by others. Or it is a result of being hurt by others.The way it seems though, is when you let go of that the ability of having to protect your heart/mind/soul and leave your affairs to Allah Alone by just being good to people even when they lie in your face and you know it, or they sneak behind your back and you know it, or when they're using you and you know it ......smile, be kind . The truth of the matter is, when people do wrong, they KNOW it. They know it very well, the kinder you are to them, the harder their ego can justify their wrongs and the more their self conscience cannot get away from it.
8) I'm beginning to implement a mental application that I call, "what's the benefit?" ... Once I can answer the question, my thoughts and actions move into the right direction (Insha'Allah). Often (you'll be surprised), we end up getting into things ... be it conversations, issues between people, particular wants etc without even seeing the purpose or benefit in it. If there's no benefit, then why do it. I suppose I'm learning to practice what I preach to my children which is, "why do you do what you do? - if you don't know, they why do it?"
9) This one here has definitely come with time, and tests... it's the realization of how firm truth is and how weak falsehood is.Whether it's through ones character, through words, or claims of anyone. It's clear that truth always remains standing. While falsehood eventually shows it's face, and a disgusting one it is. Often people think even if it's not the whole truth it's "okay" , slowly but surely the reality of the absolute truth becomes clear. It's only time that that removes falsehood, but it happens. And anything built on falsehood (lying, being slick, cheating, stalling, slandering etc) will crumble in the most miserable of ways and it will be evident that it simply wasn't worth it. Really it seems the pull of greed/selfishness is ultimately what causes the cookie to crumble.
10) The word "sorry" is disliked by the raw ego, but it is in fact one of the most calming words to we can apply to our daily lives -especially when you mean it! There's this unspoken expectation that we are perfect beings hence the inability to apologize SINCERELY. Really, we weren't created perfect. We have the choice to strive for perfection, and the first stop in striving is realizing that we are not perfect, that we will make mistakes (many, many mistakes - this is the nature of man: WEAK). If we admit it, fix it with good (apologizing is a form of good) and sincerely striving...we end up taking greater steps towards reaching the standards of perfection, Insha'Allah. The goal of striving towards an unattainable goal of perfection is for the purpose of attaining true success - its our striving that's required to enter Jannah therefore reaching ultimate success.
11) 12) 13) 14) etc .... WE DON'T REALLY KNOW ANYTHING!! The truth of the matter is we don't know what's good for us, we don't know what will bring us closer to Allah, we don't know what the outcome of anything will be, we don't know the condition of other peoples hearts as we barely know ours. We rely entirely on Allah, and in Him ALONE DO BELIEVERS PUT THEIR TRUST!
"Allah! La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), and in Allah (Alone), therefore, let the believers put their trust." [64:13]
