'Nun-Jabi'

I'm dressed, yes, maybe not dressed to impress, maybe not defined by society as the best, but let me stress that I carry myself for me and only me. I don't want 'em eyes, checking my size, and the other 'ish that runs through the minds of those consumed by their carnal desires. A fuel that's ignited and never to be satisfied for the soul craves a deeper craving. I can see it in your eyes, I can see those questions floating around in the room, words of nuns, ninjas and things making you feel as though your bling is a superior standing. As though before you is a vision of oppression, a victim of Osama's mess unable to see that in the land of the brave, home of stupidity I am undeniably free. Lemme take this second to define freedom, because until we're on the same level you'll never see me as human. Freedom is the right to preserve ones dignity to the highest calibre given to humanity.It's the ability to pick a path one is content with from the depths of their soul. It's choices we make for our own sake. Not the laws a nation imposes on us, trying to expose every last inch of flesh convincing us we're now liberated working nine to five, dinner at six, laundry, then hockey practice, oh wait, I think you missed it....... you just doubled your load now you're on night shift ! Honey, I won't judge you and you don't judge me. I don't hate you and you don't hate me. My mind is not limited to butterflies and fashion, no it's a mind challenged by upholding dignity and respect. If you never met one like me, the so called 'nun-jabi', then let it be known my life represents a path I chose. A love that I know. And though you don't get it, I ask you at least respect it. Rearrange those question marks, one back to front ʕʔ .......find the love to understand each other and we'll be on the path to healing homes and hearts beyond the capacity calculated by any man. For the heart is our vehicle of truth and justice....peace and contentment...the heart erases every colour, every race, every language, every place, the heart unites us to by a power beyond the scope of man. Let's make it pure, open our clenched fists and give out a hand. Let's make salaam, peace, a greeting spread only by Islam!

Diagnosis: Verbal Diarrhea

What is the word of a man worth in this time?...




It's merely a ringing bell, a chime, sounds that are benign, that can't get past the hymn. It's a pleasantry upon the palate, beyond that it's just a malice. Words that are baseless, just spill and are tasteless. The words of a man should not be a mere noise or sound.It's a transaction, a receipt of interaction. It's a mark left to console, for the word of a real man is not just a word. It's an intent, it's a step into action. If you don't have your word, then you are nothing more than a soothsayers attraction. Define character by making your talk walk, and not just your talk rock. Words that move come with proof of it's groove. A rare quality to find in these times, where all talk does is talk, and all walk does is get your ego in a buzz. Make the words that you utter be the truth in its entirety.Let it be more than just a disillusioned piety but rather an adjective designed to elevate your weight by the Power of the Most High.C'mon, make your soul fly!!

BREATHE O' UMMAH
..................... BREATHE DAMMIT!!!!

Our Starvation

We know it's there, we've heard of it's existence....
We've been told and constantly reminded
But we've been brained washed and branded
Turned from humans of intellect to animals
Making survival of the fittest nothing but greed
It's a selfish realm we breed
Eyes walk with death lurking near
Body begging for someone to nurture
Ribs bearing all that words can say
Neglect of priorities has made it this day
Hearts don't breathe any more
For hearts with life would turn deathly sore
Not just blue in the face and then back to me and you
No, our hearts are filled to its capacity
Though blessed with space and flexibility
It encompasses nothing but drama
Too busy trying to make 'right' our self inflicted wrong
When we've got a world of worries to keep us busy
Stripped of dignity, void of mercy
Forgive us for our neglect beautiful child
For we are diseased and unable to find time to go beyond a tear in our eye
Please don't spite us on the day of Reckoning
Please don't hate us, pray for our awakening
Ya Raabi stir our soul, Ya Raabi make us whole again
Protect us from the wrong we place on our own
Make easy for those we fail to embrace and hold....Ameen




Preparing Wedding Feast

Spirit

The depth within each self

The understanding of life

Seek the bounty and guidance

Cherish the truth one may call defiance

Uphold it's potential

Go deeper then the root; this is essential

It is the soul of man alone

It is the sustenance beyond the flesh and bone ...

Spring Forth

Exhale a tale worth concealing; you've broken the roots
Breathe a story not worth hearing; you've burned the grass
Live a life dampened by lies; you've been coated with pesticides
Project a being not upholding dignity; you've been infested by grubs
Devour an image ignited by desires; you've been stomped upon by millions
Continue a path of digression; you witnessed your eternal state
Utter arrogance; you've removed every bud before it could blossom

Caress a weak frail flower; you've touched life at its peak
Prick in knowledge and gently place it at the root; you've secured your purpose
Sprinkle a layer of light; you've nurtured your existence
Spray with constant reflection; you've understood reality
Hum the Praises of the Most High and sit firm; you've earned the worlds greatest contentment
Awe struck by such perfection; you've been a witness to the truth!

Signs are a Mercy for us within our own capacity to attain wisdom .....with eyes wide open embrace your path knowing it is your own actions that dictate your own satisfactions

Fasabrun Jameel

O'Beautiful Patience your bud is tightly wound, but your blossom is wide and round. You've been elevated by The Most Gracious, Most Merciful. Walk with me hand in hand, teach me your ways. For your roots are hard to plant but when embedded it runs deep. The stretch towards the top cannot be foreseen. Its road varies by each stem, but all come with their own share of obstacles. O'Beautiful Patience, I know your scent is greater than any my heart and soul has ever known, and I feel your strength in me. Show me the way beyond the obvious route, one that sends me Praising the Creator, Sustainer, Maintainer......the Knower of All things. O'Beautiful Patience you're hard to attain, but I yearn for your fruit, I yearn to know you. With a smile running from one side to the other, eyes filled with a wonder and a truth, I place myself in your care. I desire your teachings. O'Beautiful Patience ..... be patient with me, for my scope can be very narrow. Hold me up when I dangle by the edge, push me up to reach my potential. O'Beautiful Patience, how sweet you are, I daydream a taste of your nectar, a glance at your grace, a stroke of your elegance. O'Beautiful Patience, let me plant you correctly, let me love you for only He ; the Almighty! O'Beautiful Patience smile with me as we embark on this journey, just you, me and the Lord of the Worlds. May we remain steadfast to reap the rewards of a fantasy to be a reality. I can sense the load of this journey will not wear me down once I've firmly planted the roots, covered it and sealed it from the open enemy. O'Beautiful Patience, let me be one with thee....O'Beautiful Patience your bud is tightly wound, but your blossom is wide and round :)

Allahu Akbr :) :) Praise be to Allah swt Knower of All Things, who just says "BE" and it is......La illaha illah Muhammadur Rasoolulla sullahwho alyahi wa salaam.... :)

"Verily by the remembrance of Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) do hearts find ease"

Slumber's Truth

The wrinkles across my forehead represent more then just an agitation, it's a result of a soul stirred. Discontented with it's position, and unable to feel secure of the station it wishes to be upon. It's an awakening, a sharp twisting, a realization of a rank lower then one had even imagined. Feeling the affect and I'm definitely not proud. My head lowers in shame, as I need a moment, a span of Grace from the Almighty. It's a terrible feeling, to turn to see so much loss in span of a moment. It's a scary reality to not be able to acknowledge a widened path, that more then always branches to an entirely different path. The concept of seeing with clarity, was what I thought to be my reality. Haunted by the thought of failure or lack of strength to achieve the nearness that I desire. I cannot feel whole, for I fault with many holes. I staggered and I dawdled now the consequence is clear. The creases above my brows, the intense frown is a sadness within the soul, for I now see I am just that person that I never wanted to be.


May Allah subhanahu wa tala have Mercy on us for our shortcomings and give us strength to be more then just a vision, but rather a reality. Living within humility and intense purpose...Ameen.

~Slaughtering Peace...!!!

I try to reason with man's decision to cause pain and confusion. I've yet to understand why we thrive on hurting one another, as if we don't also have a mother,sister, father, or brother. Are we really fighting to keep each other together? Or are we misusing power we have over one another? Lest we forget what it feels to pain, to have nothing to gain, just another playing in this bloody game. Awake each morning trying not to go insane, dying in vain, as no honor comes from wanting to join this terror.Do we want to end it, I wonder. Perhaps we should take a little while longer to ponder. Bomb after bomb, tomb after tomb, accomplishes what?...everlasting doom! Are we fighting to keep mankind safe, or just starting a race to see which nation will be the quickest to erase? It's a battle for power,not for a torn down tower, or the thousands for whom we place a flower. Peace is not found in war, for war bears nothing but broken spears, tears, distressed ears, and dead peers. Not forgetting, more hunger, more terror, more anger, being left with nothing to do but suffer. Missing so much- our hearts aching.Looking for someone to clutch- our souls breaking. But we continue misunderstanding the purpose of life, holding on tight to the knife. Our blood spilling, yet together it will always run, for we are all humans, waging a war that can never be won.
-----------------------
Written 5-6 yrs ago

Let Death Be...

Let it be that moment to exhale, to prevail, to know that life has begun and not just hit its end. When death hits let it be a your moment to shine, a day to unwind, a way make the soul smile. Let it be a death worth dying. Let it be a life worth living. When death hits, let it be the one moment in your life you won't regret, let it be the only thing you ever worked for. When death hits let it be ...success!

Don't shy away from what what you can't control, don't run from what even the dumbest foo' knows will always come. March on baby, head up high walking a path that you can only pray is the one to a life of eternity. Not just forever-ness but pure bliss. Now tell me is this what you want to miss?

Take my mansion, take my bed, take my clothes, my comfort, take my all, just leave me my soul strong. All I wanna know is my book comes in the right hand, and that I've made it to a forever land without stress, hardships... just pure bliss.

Let death be your friend not your foe. Let it greet you in peace and not with "woe" . Let it be your life's work, let it be your ambition.

Let death be all that it is ......... the reality of what this is!

Touch the Sky!!

It is the nature of humans to seek out the easiest possible way to accomplish a task. For some a half hearted job just won't cut it, for others they're happy to just say 'I did it' regardless of the quality of work. Some accomplish their goals, overcome obstacles, and touch success with honor and dignity. Others feel the need to use deception, constantly seek sympathy, and basically 'hustle' to get to where they feel they need to go. Both will reap the rewards according to their struggle and effort, nothing less and nothing more.

In all that life brings us, all we can do is control how we react. Circumstances, people, or anything else are only a matter of distances that we need to go. They are the the moutains we must climb, and no mountain is ever too high. Not unless you decide it is. "Those that say they can and those that say they can't, are probably right" ..... so very true. EVERYTHING in this world is 'mind over matter'. If we believe we can do it, then we can. If we believe we can't, then we won't. It's that simple, no matter where you want to go. Naturally your heart and drive must be in full force...

Surrounded by hill tops all around us, breaking free from one to find another greater heap has come. From valleys to mountains, from rivers to lakes, beauty in its own challenge but challenges none the less. A swim or a climb towards that which we desire. Attainable! Reach for the stars, for once man thought it was impossible now he can touch the moon. No goal, no desire is unattainable; that is the nature of man. If his will and drive is there, no matter what the task he will achieve it. Through thick and thin, without counting minutes or counting days. Patience comes with ease when the reward is in the battle not only the result. Desire, Drive, and Defy all that comes your way,and you will surprise yourself.

Verily, nothing is impossible for Allah swt, and with your right foot forward go touch the sky! :)

One Step at a Time..

Look to the future and not the past

For a heart that is broken shall never last

Like a lion that stalks its prey...

..........hmmm now how did that poem go again?

Life works itself out in many different ways, often in ways we don't anticipate or comprehend. My life experience has taught me something valuable, and though for the past week I wasn't sure what to think of this lesson I still come back to it. In life, we must always, always seek the guidance of Allah swt. If we do that with a clear heart, mind and sincerity, then we must trust ourselves. Sometimes we spend days and nights analyzing and over analyzing to realize that we're more confused then when we started. There's no telling what is in people's heart's and why things occur in the ways that they do. If we trust Allah swt, then we can trust ourselves to use the wisdom He gives us to make choices in life. My recent incident, yes didn't go as planned, and yes a deathly disappointment.......but I have no regrets what so ever. I went with an open mind, and it didn't happen as planned. Who knows why, or what lesson must be learned, or perhaps it's merely a test of faith only God really knows. The point is after the human emotional aspect is done and the tears have been spilled, we can always feel good knowing that Allah swt is the best of Planners....

....Like a lion that stalks it's prey

Success will come it's way

with patience and prayer

We have nothing to fear

And though it hurts from the pain of emotion

Time will heal and love will form a new potion

In the end, life must go on

Who are we to truly know what is good for us or not

Praise be to He

That says 'BE' and it shall be!

Give a little of yourself......

I was forwarded this email and I found a lesson within which we all need to be reminded about every lil while....

Thank you Allah swt for all the favors you have bestowed upon us, forgive us Ya Rabb for being ungrateful, forgive us. Ya Allah swt please help our ailing ummah and stir our hearts to be a means of assisting them...Ameen..ameen

--------------------
After a conversation with one of my friends, he told me despite having to work 2 jobs that bring in approximately R2500 per month, he's quite happy.

I wondered how anyone could be happy considering he has to skimp with everything because of his low pay. He's supporting his parents, his in-laws, his wife, 2 daughters and the many bills his large household accrues.

He explained that his reasoning was caused by one incident that he'd seen in India. It had happened a couple of years before he'd married when he was feeling very low, after a major setback, while touring India.

He said that right in front of his very eyes, he saw an Indian mother chop off her child's right hand. The hopelessness in the mother's eyes, the scream of pain from the innocent 4-year-old has haunted him, ever since.

You may ask why did the mother do so? Had the child been naughty? Had the child's hand been infected? No, it was done for two simple words - - - TO BEG!!!

The desperate mother deliberately caused the child to be handicapped so that the child could go out to the streets to beg.

Taken back by the scene, he dropped a piece of bread he was eating and almost instantly, a flock of 5 or 6 children swamped towards this small piece of bread, covered with sand, robbing bits from one another.

How could hunger and desperation be allowed to fester like this? Stricken by the happenings, he instructed his guide to get a truck and to drive him to the nearest bakery. He went to two bakeries and bought every single loaf of bread he found. The owners were dumbfounded but willingly sold everything. He spent less than R200 to obtain about 400 loaves of bread this is less than R0.50 per loaf) and then spent about R100 to get other daily necessities.
Off he went with his bread into the streets. As he distributed the bread and necessities to the children and adults (mostly handicapped)he received cheers and bows. For the first time in his life he wondered how people would do almost anything for a loaf of bread which cost less than 50 CENTS.

He began to tell himself how fortunate he was. How fortunate he is to be able to have a complete body, have a job, have a family, have the chance to complain about what food is good and what isn't, have the chance to be clothed, have the many things that these people in front of him are deprived of..... .
Now I began to think and feel it, too! Was my life really that bad? Perhaps... not, should I feel bad all the time? What about you? Maybe the next time you think it couldn't be worse, think about the child who lost one hand to beg on the streets.

"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, it's the realization of how much you already have."

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the next that has been opened for us.
It's so very true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it.
But it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything.
They just make the most of everything that comes their way.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't be your best until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
Send this message to those people who mean something to you. To those who have touched your life in one way or another. To those who make you smile when you really need it. To those that allow you see the brighter side of things. To those you want to let know that you appreciate their friendship.

Cupid Revealed - cupid doesn't love you!

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Mistakes

"Mommy, next time I make a mistake on a beautiful thing will you cover it?" ....words from a 4 year olds mouth. He came to me with an eraser and a picture he drew and he asked me to erase the mistake he made but being done in marker this was not possible. So I said I will use my white-out pen to fix it up, since he did such an excellent job. This however fascinated him and he enjoyed the "tape" that covered mistakes. And in his innocence and honesty he said the above words. I repeated it out loud and chuckled to myself. A few minutes later I found myself pondering on his words, but in a different light. Would it not be so wonderful if we could indeed cover mistakes made by our friends/family and all the beautiful people around us. And so I ask, "next time I or anyone makes a mistake on a beautiful thing, will you cover it?"

Women wearing headscarfs - Give me a break!

I love this!!..haha (I'm laughing at HOW he says it, not what he says)
...It's true...just watch!

Only Ask God

O'God Let me die knowing I've touched the world
I've aimed to land on the sun, afraid of none
Let me die with purpose, with conviction
Let me be placed within the soil, the debris knowing my soul is full
O'God let me die having reached my fullest potential
Let me die looking the enemy in the eye knowing that I did try
Let me die having feared no one but you
Having trekked through knowing my return is only to you
O'God allow me to live fighting the war of good vs evil
Let me live in a world where good stands a chance to prevail
Let me live in on an earth that sees day and night as a purpose
Where birds and butterflies are not just words from a poetess
Let me live with an intellect and an understanding of truth
Let the boundries of this world be none around me
Let me be free to live for the the next life
Let me be strong and inspire to be stronger
Let me be caring and inspire to give more
O'God show me the way of the blessed
Show me true success!

Lost In Darkness

sWritten in April 2002-- 5 yrs later, I feel exactly the same, and have no answers....

Mixed emotions inside, I can't make sense of each compartment it hides. My strength being torn apart in each article, each report, each utter by the breath that doesn't not wish to give support. My love, my happiness so overwhelming like a worldly bliss. But my world, has stress that I can't miss or leave to have vultures continue to kill each last kid. So what do I do? ... Turn ignorance to arrogance? Turn love of family to a distant past? ...Run across the world and die fighting to make a difference? I cannot void the inhumane images I see, I cannot forget the ones who love me unconditionally, I can't continue to listen to them say the truth is the 'corrupted word'. Why is it we forget how pain feels?..Why don't we realize that if we inflict the hurt they inflict it will never end?..Why don't we realize that we are all humans with a heart?.. Why can't we feel beyond our own? Why can't they give us back our homes? Why do we die in a state of hate? ... Children live in terror, they're only knowledge is of the bombs the enemies fire while they slumber. Their fondest memory is to find shelter within a crumbled building. Their only joy is when they take another soul. Never do their tears run dry, as each day it's either, their mother, father, uncle, or aunt. There's an internal wound in each heart, no place to inflict any more pain. Each dart has left a dried bloodstain. Its a life not an understanding of what's wrong or right....for they've been wronged and they're oppressors just want to fight. What can we do in this broken world, but cry endless tears to our Creator to bless them with an eternity of happiness for bearing a life filled with terrorists. Ameen..Ameen..Ameen..my lips will always voice their pain, and my heart will always envy their strength, my soul will always whimper for them till justice will hold.

Close Guantanamo!!

HELP THEM!! http://www.amnesty.ca/campaigns/no_exceptions/guantanamo_action.php

Ponder...

"Who is he that will lend unto Allah a goodly load, that He may double it for him and his may be a rich reward?" - The Noble Quran

Perfecting Patience

Have you heard that all that's meant to be will be, whether you wish it or not?

Have you seen with your heart and not just those two holes above your nose?

Have you seen how wonders work around us, how perfectly planned things can be

Some argue love is destiny, others argue it's a sought out commodity

I say, it's a thing that once you strive to fulfill it, ultimately you will receive it

But timing is everything

Patience, is a choice of happiness or without it you're left with mere depression

Some say success is a matter of will power, others say it's just luck

I say it's a tied camel and a two hands facing upward

It's the ability to work knowing all your affairs are taken care of

Some argue freedom is a right, others say it's a luxury

I say it's a choice of knowing what you want, and fearing none but the Almighty

In the end our fate is the same, destiny is a matter of labour and trust in the One who says "BE" and it shall BE.

Glory be to He, the Lord of all the Heavens and the Earth and everything in between!

It takes 30 seconds...

It takes 30 seconds to hit "reply" and say a friendly "hi"
It takes 30 seconds to smile and dispose of the lie in their eyes
It takes 30 seconds to drop food in a bin
It takes 30 seconds to inspire the sick to have hope
It takes 30 seconds to hold out your hand and help
It takes 30 seconds to lift a spoon and place food on a ones empty plate
It takes 30 seconds to speak up and defend one against a bully
It takes 30 seconds to inspire
It takes 30 seconds to learn a lesson
It takes 30 seconds to make the weak strong
It takes 30 seconds to see life before us
It takes 30 seconds to realize the reality
It takes 30 seconds to forever change lives

.................In 24 hours, find 30 seconds and change tomorrow today!

*edited*

*EDITED*

If we as humans can figure out how to get to the moon, surely we can figure out how to defend the oppressed THROUGH OUT the world. But why can't we? Because it's so much easier not to think about it. It's so much easier to close our doors, curl up on the couch and watch the "Little Mosque on the Prairie".

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....let each of us vow today to make a difference. Be it small be it big. We ALL have the potenial to touch a life, to cause a chain reaction which eventually will be seen everywhere. If you don't try, how will you ever know? God has given ever single one of us a gift...discover it...use...and make a change!!!

God bless those of innocence, God bless those that are oppressed, God bless those that put forth their best with sincerity, God bless those with goodness in their hearts, and give us the numbers to make a change....Ameen.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/article1290331.ece ..

Parental Love

I wrote this poem years ago, it's been lying in one of my books. But in honor of Children's Day I thought I would post it here. Every precious child in the world ......it's for you!

Have you ever seen an angel sleep? Have see how far he can spread his feet? How he likes his wings to be free? Have you ever seen the glow on his face? A glow no tantrum can erase. Have you ever seen how his lips part ever so slightly and whistle a heavenly melody?

Sweet lil angel, sweet lil child, you make me want to smile and cry at the same time. O' sweet lil angel you'll never know this love of mine. It runs from my veins into your heart, and through your smile back into my heart.

Sweet lil angel, sweet lil child, this love of mine may be blind but I can't help loving such a beautiful thing (Masha'Allah).

I love you so much it hurts that these words don't seem to work ... so I'll lay a kiss on your cheek and pray one day you'll come to realize how much I mean it.

Sweet dreams my lil angel child, sweet dreams baby of mine ......

For more blogs done in honour of Universal Children's Day, please go to

Sketched Soul

mini reflection .....

One will not find greatness in physical or mental ease. For greatness lies in the ability to work mind and body in sync of ones passions. To yearn for ease is in fact to yearn for something less than great! Indeed when greatness is achieved ease will follow............. trust the Plan of the Almighty, a plan only disclosed by the practice of patience :) Insha'Allah

Night Light

Many moons ago I used to look up in the sky and I used to wonder why...
O'stars, stars why are you up so high?
Many moons ago I used to gaze into the night and I used to wonder why...
Moon, moon why are you up so high?

And as I got older, I got a tiny bit wiser
No need to wonder any longer
Because if the moon and the stars were down low
By the greed of man they would be no more
We'll be staring at a dark hole for sure
The black of the night
That of earths current sights
Where we fight, fight and fight
But no ones has their rights

Many moon ago I used to look up in the sky and I used to wonder why...
O'stars, stars why are you up so high?
Many moons ago I used to gaze into the night and I used to wonder why...
Moon, moon why are you up so high?

It's easy to see now, that if we able to pluck you from the sky
There would be one less reason for us to sigh
To awe and to cry
As there would be nothing left above us, other than a darkness
The result of each selfish gain trying to make claim to what's not theirs

And so if you find yourself asking why, o'why?
Remember it's not always easy to see wisdom but just try
Eventually you'll come to see it
And realize the best isn't always what you see fit

Now I gaze into the open night air and I say
Luminescent moon suspended above us, radiant in the night sky
Beautiful bulbs; the stars beating within it's blanket of black
I'm glad you're up above the reach of man
This is indeed is God's Master Plan
I put my trust in you O'Creator of all I see
For your wisdom is beyond our understanding
Beyond that of humanity!

Ahhh

Okay, this is seriously getting a lil too depressing for my likings. I think I'm taking out way too much of my negative wordly, poltical views. It all goes back to the same thing really; erosion of morality.

Anywho, I had intended on writing something on a brighter note but seeing as it's way past my bedtime and that my brain has indeed shut off I will leave you with this....

"Ohhh when you're smiling, oh when you're smiling the whole world smilesss with youuuuu"

:) Smile cuz it'z sunnah ;)

Missing a Soul

They call it a war on terror but I'm sure you now know...
It's a war no doubt, no morality - just the stench of man as he falls to the bottom of earth's greatest pit
It's a pit of hell, where those that feel torture and murder are a hit
Repugnant actions ridiculed, joked at and poked at, making it seem as though we're all down with that
Made to stand 24 hours in a day, handcuffed to a rail
Stripped bear made to walk, ankles handcuffed as they laugh and stare
Made to fear as dogs tear their flesh apart
Rejoicing their pain, rejoicing their death
And I ask again and again..how can we not feel for others when we know the feeling of pain?
And again I am lost with no reply
Tears can't save a life, no - it can't ease a burden , it can't change a past
The war is no doubt that of terror, no doubt one designed to inflict as much hate and hurt possible to human kind
It's a pit of hell that they've fallen in
Enjoying the feeling of power over another human being
"Do unto others as you want done to you"
Words of wisdom but a deaf and blind nation cannot adhere
Disgust hardly speaks of my hearts emotions
Anger and hurt make up only a portion
Would it be okay if it happened in America?
The land of the free, home of the dead and empty
Would it be a mere torture scandal or would it turn into 'a war on devils'?
It takes evil to allow ones soul to take part in this injustice, in this filth
It takes the bones and flesh of hell's abode to enjoy such nauseation
It takes a mindless, eroded soul to have a hand
May you die with more fear in you than that you've tried to put in man
May bliss be taken away from you in this life and the next
How can I want any better for a man or woman that enjoys torture?

Let it be a Nightmare!

I used to wonder about hell and it's occupants. I used to think of how anyone can truly be deserving of such a horrid event. And though I believe without a doubt the Almighty knows best, I would quiver at the words etched in my chest. As I grow more aware of what surrounds me, as I can see past my life and my family, my home, my serenity. I quiver just as much. I cannot comprehend the concept of torture, I cannot forgive those that succumb to such levels of disgrace. I am lost for words as the vision of a child no older than that of my own is torn apart, broken and stomped on for fun. He's only crime is that he stayed out past the given time to play in the sand. I'm not being metaphoric, a four year old child truly did experience it. Tragic. I can only wish hell's heaviest punishment upon such filth. My heart stops for the slightest of a second when a man minding his business,with no anger on his face, no stone, no reason is shot and left to bleed to death. Target practice on the human flesh!? I cannot comprehend this. And though my thoughts are to save the world, it is beyond me how I can do such a task. Only the Almighty can rid such calamity, only He can bless those innocent, beautiful victims with eternal bliss. It is only He that can destroy and take such hollow animals to account. And so I supplicate with my heart and soul....O' Lord of mine you know best, without a doubt, without a moment of hesitation. O' Lord of mine show us the way to help ease such stress and punish those that have earned a painful death. I cried for the rebels making child soldiers to be wiped from the map.But it's not an isolated incident, it's a dying morality, it's the closure of humanity.... It is the harshest reality our hearts may have to bear and worse is that their bodies must endure. May we leave this world with our Creator pleased with us, may we leave this world happy to be received at home. May we leave this earth peacefully, and may those who have to bear such horror have every pain and every fear taken away from them.

I don't know about you, but my heart grieves desperately and I'm lost in not knowing what I must do!

http://judicial-inc.biz/35_jewish_idf_soldiers_rape_a_11.htm

Be strong my brothers, sisters....mothers, fathers, children - be strong! You'll be home soon Insha'Allah...Insha'Allah...Insha'Allah :( :(

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world/story/0,,2195924,00.html#article_continue

Statistic

I'm a statistic, in case you missed it this world is going ballistic. Can't seem to see past it, what's that you ask? I'd like to say but it might be offensive. Might be rude to say that the minds of those are not worried about faith, life or anything that doesn't have a body for goodness sake. It's raw emotion destroying our nations, breaking our families, decaying our society, hurting our children, living corruption without our eternal being. Damn, why aren't we seeing? It's a rotten infection inside the mind of mankind. A weakness they cannot seem to pass, can't seem to weigh between the palm of their hand. Not using brains to decide. So you ask, what's the problem? Am I just going mad? Perhaps, but can't you see it's a lil sad this sick state, it's not fate. Is this justice to the lil ones? No, it's selfish of those ignorant stupid ones. Here's what I say-there's alotta people WILLING to play the game, so if that's what you wish then go on, GO FISH. But don't include the innocent, don't destroy the lives of those who marry for the God's sake, or who live within good and make evil shake. If that's your choice, let it be yours, don't include another because you're trying to fix your damn flaws. Fix it before you mix with those that are pure and clean. Be it man or woman, God ain't lookin'....just pick your path and leave those that don't belong out of it so they can last. It's a sad statistic, man this world's gone ballistic. Marry me, okay divorce me, 'cause this wasn't in lil House on the Prairie...well guess what, that's life! It's not a fairy tale love story, it's a relation between two beings working in one direction. Figure out your path before you screw up the lives of those that are walking the walk, without weighing 'em down by the fools that can only talk the talk. Too many lives being destroyed by one human emotion....... I'm statistic determined to find a way to fix it!

Rebeating of the Heart

I was born a butterfly free of any worry or care. But as my beauty graced society I was snatched away. Within the walls of a glass only enough to allow for air. And as I sit within my new home away from the earthly freedom, the cool breeze, the life I used to know...I begin to wonder. How can there be a way out? Am I captured till death or is my life my own....? I am a butterfly you see, I was born to be free flying atop the fragrant flowers. Whisking myself into all that I wish to devour. But now I am limited to choice of food, air, and space. I am stuck within four glass walls, suffocating while being poked and prodded. I am a beautiful butterfly that I know, but now I am dying within what they call "home". I have devised a plan to become my own, before death takes me and I have nothing to show. I will still my heart long enough to be declared dead. They will rid me as I would be of no use to society. Thereafter when my freedom is secure, playing dead in a sewer, my every vein that I posses will flood with blood pumping into my chest - I will be my best. I will soar freely in the outdoors where I once knew happiness. Where I lived without worry or care for I knew my objective, I knew life's plans are fair.I will live with meaning that I've always known, with the guidance encased within my soul. I was born a butterfly free of worry and care. Now I know that the trick to life with meaning and flair. It is one with which a heart has died and come alive again. Die inside, and you'll be born again living a life you've yearned to spend in a way you know is right for you, without a worry of what society will think to do.

A Mercy!

Have you ever felt the warmth of a child's hands on your cheeks? Their grasp on your pinkie finger? Their embrace around your legs as they look for their protection? Have you ever looked in their eyes and they look in yours knowing there's a connection that is entirely from the Almighty? Have you stopped to hear their laughter? Have you ever noticed their smiles travel beyond your face but within your heart? Have you ever witnessed their innocence when trying to accomplish a task? Have you ever observed their honesty when making sense of the actions around them? Have you ever taken a second to see a child for what they are........for who they are. God's Mercy to mankind! A child may find a way to drive us crazy at times, but the moment they leave our side a void fills our hearts, our souls. Their laughter, even their tears, their affection, their warmth, their dependence is more for us than them. God's gift to humanity is every tiny soul finding their way in this big ugly world. May the Almighty protect them all......every single angel child sent to us as a mercy..Ameen.

Protect them, scold them because you love them, teach them......embrace them - the most priceless luxury in the entire world!

Thunder and Rain

I've got thunder, I've got rain
I've got two 'lil angels which aren't quite the same
One seems loud and fierce
The other seems mild and serene
But both are not as they seem, if we just look deep within
Thunder may be loud and scary
But can't do much more than a boo
Rain though calm at times
Can be brisk and harsh, can destroy all in it's path
Easy to see how both appear one way
But can change depending on the day
Deep within our heart plays an unspoken tune
Our mind isn't what people tend to presume
My thunder and my rain
My reality of this world's fame
My understanding I can now claim
How beautiful they compliment each other
Thunder and rain!

Brighter Tomorrow

Gotta go through each day one at a time

Gotta try, try and try......gotta try all the time

Smiling can be so easy 'cos frowning just doesn't seem right

Keep on pushing further remembering each day to fight

Gotta fight, fight and fight.....gotta fight to reach your greatest height

Make each day your first, and each day your last

Step with one foot forward, and the other not too far back

Baby steps lead into leaps, making marks in lives for keeps

Gotta try, try and try...gotta try all the time

Gotta fight, fight and fight...gotta fight to reach you greatest height

Stern and steady, strong and stable

Keep on pushing and your soul will follow

This is living

This is a brighter tomorrow.........

Today's Tomorrow

O' bitter world might I be a stranger within thee
O' blessed earth may I live an ascetic life
O' grieving heart might I die with one mission
O' harsh world might I turn my back to your ways
O' fruitful earth might I only take from you what I need
O' heavy heart might you find peace in the remembrance of God

Yearning a way of life beyond the norm of society
Yearning for a higher purpose beyond that of our materialistic imagination
Yearning to be traveller on route to everlasting bliss
Yearning to sacrifice worldly goods to benefit a higher purpose

May I live as though my last breathe will take me, live with honour, live with a consciousness of good against the ways of the evil lurking around us. The evil ways disguised by success, disguised with the speech "the smart thing to do" ....ways far beyond our source of peace.

O Lord of the heavens and earth and all that in between, O Lord of Mercy, O Lord of the Day of Judgement, Giver of Peace, Giver of Success. The Mighty, The Wise, The Knower of all things unseen....Ya Rabb hear the cries of our heart, hear our prayers, let us be submerged in truth....O King of Kings, grants us true success in this world and the hereafter...Ameen.

The Light of Respect

These garments of choice have made me free

They keep me flying they keep me standing with dignity

My soul is complete, strong and unique

Maybe against the roaring currents you see me as weak

Take a moment to see me as a being

A vital part of the community – see me as I am seeing

I will not wrong you by judging you

Do me the honor and give me the same courtesy

My light and my guidance

Is not only outer but an inner radiance

It is not merely a clothe or a cover

But a symbol for respect towards myself and each other

I believe this is the truest form of beauty

My right to love and preserve my body and soul with dignity

Do It Anyway! - Author Unknown

People are often unreasonable,
illogical, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may
accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you.
Be honest anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God.
It never was between you and them anyway.

-Author Unknown

Victorious

Within proof lies victory
With victory lies truth
Within truth lies our existence
And within our existence there lies the proof

Our life is an obstacle course designed to prove ourselves worthy of the fate promised to us by The Greatest, Most High, King of Kings, Lord of the heavens and earth and everything between it!

..............I don't even know!

What's the reason why?....What's the reason why we can't just get along?

Why do we try so hard, try to so hard to keep taking from each other?
Why do we enjoy the feeling, the feeling of hurting another?
Why are we so selfish, that we can't see past ourselves.....why is it so hopeless, when our guidance lies near us.

My heart can't seem to mend the ways of man. Is it just the way it's suppose to be? Will society continue to be this way, oppressing the innocent, stripping them of what's only fair. The human concern for one another doesn't belong to a majority, there's just a small lil handful of people that know equality. Equal rights is not the meaning of being able to walk topless down the road. Equality is the ability to see that each and every man and woman have needs and rights given to them through the divine guidance sent to humanity.

My heart bleeds with no real words to say and my heart feels with so much, so much..... I don't even know, I don't even know. I've asked once before and I'll ask again, why can we not feel for each knowing what it means to hurt, knowing what it means to bleed, knowing what it means to be a human .......both you and me!? .. My heart bleeds so with no real words to say, and my heart feels so much, so much.... I don't even know, I don't even know......

Every orphan child, widowed wife, every oppressed man, every beaten woman, every scared child, every being that has been a victim of someone's selfishness....I pray for you, I cry you, I love you with my heart 'cause I know you don't deserve what you got. But your patience and understanding may it be your key to eternal bliss.....forever happiness! You to me are the greatest souls in humanity, you to me are the greatest soul in humanity.

Live with honor, live with dignity.........live with honesty, live with humility......every soul shall taste death, may we be the ones that enjoy it's breath.

My heart bleeds with no words to say, my heart bleeds with so much, so much I don't even know.......I don't even know!

"Give a little of yourself..." --- my angels.. Masha'Allah

This post isn't going to be another poem but a cute incident that happened the other day. My dear eldest son, Abdullah (4 yrs old) got up a lil bit earlier than I did. So he went downstairs to find his nana sitting outside. He didn't come in my room at all. When I woke up maybe 30 minutes later he was standing by my door I guess to check if I was up. While I was sleeping he had picked a flower from the backyard and placed it on my bedside table. Without anyone telling him to do so. There after he ran to show me the flower he put and then climbed in bed to just talk :) And he's only 4 Masha'Allah!! I pray Insha'Allah both my boys will be this considerate when they grow up and make their wives the happiest women ever. After all we're at a shortage of decent men :P ... yes, yes and women I suppose :P

As for my lovely Umar *Masha'Allah*...he's still young (2.5 yrs) but Masha'Allah today he so kindly looked at me and said "mommy would you like some of my cookie" ... he was eating a chocolate chip cookie, fresh out of the oven made by Abdullah,Umar and a lil bit of my help :) Cookies made with lil hands are indeed the tastiest! :)

It's amazing what a lil kind gesture and an unanticipated thought towards someone can do.Doing something that is expected of you, and doing something for the mere sake of trying to please a person or even share part of yourself with them........it's such a huge difference. One is responsibility and the other is love. I don't know if it's innocence or just upbringing....Allahu Alim.

May we be of those who are aware of who is around us and be considerate souls.... Ameen.

Speared Wings

I'm like Muhammed Ali except I fly like a bee and sting like a butterfly. I've been walked upon, stomped for fun though not an "ouch" did I say. People acting as if I'm the one to blame it's a shame how the world makes innocence the hated and the liars get appreciated. Not to say I care, but I do admit that there's share that I don't see fair – out of the goodness in humanity, it's a shame we can call this unity. I may come across harder than a rock though all I can muster up is a "boo". I'm the deep blue sea getting tired of people polluting me! I'm like a shark with dentures, I got a rough stare those that know deep within I only care. I'm a tornado with a warm cool breeze, but my mental ease if not a reflection of the severity of this kind. Those that see me as anger don't know me as me. I've got a bite I've yet to use as the wisdom of my religion keeps my heart and soul clean. Those that can't respect don't even step – my life, my people have got to be filled with honesty and dignity. I'm not bragging, but I'm tired of having to feel as though I'm the one that's made a hole within the sick state of society we live today. I'm tired of feeling as though I've yet to do all that I can as though I'm the bad one that tried to take the good in life. I'm not bragging I'm just saying…….. what goes around comes around so watch what you do to other people 'cause it'll come right back to you! I'd never wish bad upon any other but the way life goes this is a trend you need to know.

May we be given strength, guidance and wisdom to see that there is no life except the life hereafter where all our actions will determine our real homes, our real lives - our eternity..ameen

Homesick

Have you heard of this place, maybe not so far away; closer then our shoelace some say. I dream of it night and day. It is a luxury of the highest standard wherein only the righteous stay. I miss it - my home that is. Though we have yet to meet I am hoping in my short stay I would have gathered enough to earn a seat. My heart is homesick and scared - what if I do not make it? Streams, gardens - Ah! A dwelling within the heavens. My home, my heart, my joy, my comfort, my every dream, my every hope.

Awaiting bliss by being homesick!

Eclipse - The Stolen Light

29:63-64 And if you were to ask them: Who causes water to come down from the sky, and with it revives the earth after its death? They verily would say, God. Say: Praise be to God! But most of them have no sense. This life of the world is but a pastime and a game. Lo! The home of the Hereafter - that is life, if they but knew.

So caught up in this game, the game of life. So lost in this world, walking towards an unknown. Unaware, transparent to the ultimate truth. With a mission, with a task.....walking this world busying in our life. So caught up in this game called life. So lost in this world walking towards an unknown. Where are we going, does anyone truly know? Though we can see, though we are constantly reminded, it is not enough. Our memories fail us, fading the reality ....so caught up in trying to make it, but make it where? Take a step out of your body and see life as a wandering soul, going where? Doing what? Money, friends, comforts of this world all end....though we know - why can we not feel it? Why do we forget so easily, why does it not mean anything to us? So caught up in this world just trying to make it a better way for ourselves, just trying to be good within our own kind. But do we live with real purpose? Do we live knowing there is an end, knowing that our life began in the darkness of the womb and it will end in the darkness of the grave - ECLIPSED! A short passage of light falls on us, it's our time, our moment, our opportunity - EMBRACE IT!........ if we know we would be in darkness for eternity what would we do with the hour of light we get? .. Perhaps ensure we would find comfort in our darkness before the light escapes? ....... Lost in our mind, lost in our world, corpses walking upon the earth. Inhale the light and let it radiant in the everlasting darkness. Become one with truth and your comfort will be secure. Breathe again o blessed ummah....breathe again before the light vanishes, before we are in our eternal resting place. Within the dirt, amongst the worms and debris. When our dust goes back as it came, when we are nothing but souls experiencing that which we prepared for when we were given the opportunity. Let’s breathe again ya Ummah....... let’s breathe again.

Selfish Gains

A man is a criminal when he steals, what is he when he chooses to kill those that have no defense? The innocent, the oppressed. It can only make a man obsessed with his own being, his own way of living. But stripped of his soul, dignity, honor, and respect ..... stripped of living his world content. Unless you can't see past the charade of extravagance beneath it lies an emptiness. A man is an animal none the less, a greater specie yet unable to contain himself, maintain himself with righteousness to humanity. It's a loss to the world, to mankind. Our worldly losses are individual gains - though a facade places forth appearing to be a victory. But step closer and you'll see ...put your hand forth and you will feel the heat of fire. The everlasting abode we may potentially retire. If it isn't collective then it's not worth it. It's an easy equation, which takes patience. Give each other your heart and your soul... think of others before your own. Life will be in peace, wars will seize, happiness will come with ease. Just takes a minute to look out around you, just takes a second to see. This is a rat race, I can see the pace...which evil will be faster to destroy a place? Compete with each other in good not for selfish gains. Selfish gains........... destroys the soul, the opportunity to dwell within the most extravagant of homes. Rise up to the challenge, ‘cause a selfish worldly gain is an everlasting loss and an eternity of strain.

Flithy Animals!! :(

This is in response to Guntanamo Bay... a sad situation :( .. my heart bleeds knowing such a thing exists and so openly... not even shame!
---

How can you be human, you disgusting man or woman?
You empty hollow soul, where ignorance is all you control
How can you sleep at night you nasty little mite?
How can you look at any being in the eye and not twitch, not cry?
How could you not feel for another?
How can you allow yourself to hurt in such cruelty … without dignity?!
How can you be a human, you twisted soul?
How could you say this is revenge when you’re hurting those that you can’t even say for sure?
Is this what you call honor and respect?
Is this what you call dying to keep the world safe and well kept?
How can you stand in the mirror and not drown in tears?Is locking a man behind bars not enough?
Do you have to strip him of his flesh and soul?
How do you wake up in the morning……?
How do you live knowing you are killer, a hunter, a savage!

No man must feel what they feel…no man must bear bruises especially in innocence. No man, no family, no mother, no wife, no human must be witness to such horror. God give you strength my brothers … God give you strength … Ameen :'( :'( :'(

Time waits for no one!

What is time in this world today?
Is it a healer or a killer?
Will it make you or break you?
What will it take from you?
Is it a changer or a way to say ‘hey maybe I don’t blame ya’?

What is time in this world today?
Will it be our cherished hour, minute or second?
Will it be just another hand or a tick-tock without a plan?
Is it our gift or our long list of what ‘ifs’?

What is time in this world today?
Will it be our destiny or just a mere excuse for our lack of effort to make it be?
Will it be our strength or our downfall?
Will it be our hand up or a bump to a pit below?

What is time in this world today?
Nothing but a wasted moment , wasted minute thinking of ourselves - our way
Emptiness in our being for our time only includes a selfish gain
It is the why we pain!
A human approach to excuse selfishness – let’s just worry about us
Is that it we live for…trying to make it more comfortable, maybe a beach house by the shore?

What is time in this world today………a wasted reality of what should have been yesterday!

2 'lil eyes

Inspired the group called Outlandish! .. you know it farz ;)

------

~2 'lil eyes


There's two lil eyes piercing at me left me wondering what they will be...

Will they be a solider or just another casualty. Will they be bold and strong, will they be firm and tall or just an empty vessel in the sea. Will their innocence turn cloudy, will their hearts start breeding animosity.

There's two lil eyes piercing at me left me wondering what they will be...

Holding a force I cannot compare. From their smile to their cry my heart just can't help but wonder why. Will the light and joy turn cold, will it be frigid as the arctic sea. Will it breed anger, a cloud of danger... O' what will they be?

Will they be an orphan child fighting to survive, or a doctor in battle trying to save the weak. Will they be stolen from their youth, crippled beneath the bombs and trapped by the foolish political greed.

There's two lil eyes piercing at me burning a hole in my soul that's deeper than eternity.

Fight for your right sweet ‘lil child. Fear no one, no hardship, and no man that you see. Let your eyes be light - a guidance for sincerity. Beautiful child, beautiful angel don't let the clouds fill tonight. No rain, no tears, no thunder, no hatred. Just honor and strength my beautiful child....just honor and strength.

There's two lil eyes piercing at me and wondering… Dear God give them strength to be a vital part in changing their society!

The Essence of Life

So I was inspired again..what do you know, in the same week!! *or almost same week* :)

I wrote this which is something I've been thinking for a while but never could put it down in words and I'm not totally convinced this says exactly how I feel (perhaps I'll come up with another version another time)...but for now I thought I'd share it. Below I pasted what inspired me :) This has not been edited (like most things so forgive my mistakes :))

~ The Essence of Life
There was a hole in my soul I could not control
It kept telling my inside that I did not abide, that my love for this world increased inside
But I was not totally convinced that was the case, I just never found time to sit and increase the knowledge I love for all time
It created a burden always resting in my being, weighing down my shoulders
A neglect I felt I had done not realizing that I was tired by the time they day was complete
I had no energy, or patience to try and learn all that which can be learnt
Through my days I would still reflect about the 'lil things in life, never to forget God
Though my heart felt a different sorrow
My soul was contanstly feeling let down, as though my past was greater for I had time to comptemplate
But I've come to an understanding the love that I know, the knowledge that I see is what is and will always be in the lessons of life
It's the essence of life, it's the role of caring for children, it's the role of a wife
It's the essence of life, it's our duty to uphold it and control it
It's the meaning of our living our test to keep us doing what we know is right
Though my soul could not understand, though my heart felt I was missing a part
It's merely the essence of life, it's merely the essence of life
Live it with honor, live it with respect, live it with an understanding that we have to practice what we learn in order for it to have an effect
Never forget The Creator, the teachings that we have are greater when it goes futher than a book
The essence of life is imparting knowledge to our prodgeny, building a future with the love that we have
With an understanding that we gotta live and love, interact and learn holding on tight to the values, ethics and principals of the chosen way ... the only way...
The essence of life, is truth
Truth in all that we do, we say, and we become
Our religion is not a religion it's a life.. and it is THE essence of life!
-Shireen
------- (Below my inspiration)

Motherhood
...When she has her first baby, she must manage for another life even moredependent on her personal sacrifices. By the second, third, or fourth child, herdays and nights belong almost entirely to others. Whether she has a spiritualpath or not, such a mother can seldom resist a glance at the past, when therewere more prayers, more meanings, more spiritual company, and more serenity.When Allah opens her understanding, she will see that she is engaged in one ofthe highest forms of worship, that of producing new believers who love andworship Allah.She is effectively worshiping Allah for as many lifetimes she has children, forthe reward of every spiritual work her children do will be hers, without thisdiminishing anything of their own rewards: every ablution, every prayer, everyRamadan, every hajj, and even the works her children will in turn pass on totheir offspring, and, so on till the end of time. Even if her children do notturn out as she wishes, she shall be requited in paradise forever according toher intention in raising them, which was that they should be godly.Aside from the tremendous reward, within the path itself it is noticeable thatmany of those who benefit most from khalwa or "solitary retreat of dhikr" arewomen who have raised children. With only a little daily dhikr and worship overthe years, but much toil and sacrifice for others, they surpass many a youngerperson who has had more free time, effort, and "spiritual works." What they findis greater because their state with Allah is greater; namely, the awe, hope, andlove of the Divine they have realized by years of sincerity to Him. May Allah(swt) grant us all patience with our children and raise them as good,pious, godly people, Ameen. -Shaykh Nu Ha Mim Keller

Mother-Mommy-Mom-Mum-Ami-Mama-Ma ... like no other

AHH ME AGAIN-- finally :) Back from pakistan, from wedding stuff, from driving stuff...from all that fun annoying stuff called life :)

So I read an email (pasted below) and it inspired me to I suppose write a continuation or write something anything for that matter ;)

I never knew ...
I never knew I had any patience
I never knew I could sleep a couple hours and still go on
I never knew I would be able to change so many diapers
I never knew I would be able to calm a crying baby
I never knew I would be able to care for someone 24-7
I never knew I would be able to put up with a tantrum
I never knew I would be able to take my child for their vaccinations
I never knew I would be able to let them go for their first day of school
I never knew I could feel more for someone else than my own self
I never knew I the feeling of unconditional dedication
I never knew the strength I had
I never knew I'd pray so hard for the future
I never knew I would have so much doubt - am I doing enough? are they taking in all they can?
But as a mom I now know...
I pray for the children, ours, yours, and the worlds
I can see a child for their inner peace, and strength
As a mom I now know that I could only know the love of a mom, when I became one.
As a mom the circle of life continues
As a mom the future is being built
Through your strength and mine, as moms our scarfices are their successes
-Shireen

-----------------


Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put them down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom. Send this to someone who you think is a special Mom. I just did!
-author unknown